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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Top Halloween costumes for heretics

Halloween is coming! Get the candies ready, the decoration, the music and all the paraphernalia associated to this - almost - national holiday. It just takes a short walk by a residential street to see how important this holiday for Americans.

Halloween started as the Celtic festival of Samhain, which marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of winter. In other words, started as a pagan ritual. Just like Christmas.

But really, who cares how it started? It's a good day for kids to have fun and candies; and for grown-ups to also enjoy candy. Also, a great opportunity to dress like complete idiots or for women to dress like whore. Just saying, never complaining.

Anyway, while looking for a nice costume I found those that might arise some believers' wrath. Again, nothing wrong with that, since many of these people like to get angry at anything. Anyway, without much preamble I present you with some very interesting costumes for heretics:

1. Nun

Perfect to scare away all the bad memories we had about that ugly nun that used to talk about punishment in hell as if she had been born and raised there. Let's face it, nuns are ugly and usually mean to the kids they teach or take care of. Let this Halloween be an opportunity to break that. The naughtiness can be leveled up by getting a crucifix like this one:

Other uses are possible. You can also use it to pray. Sure.

2. Jesus
The Jesus costume is a classic that will always enjoy some disapproving look. Who cares? The Son of Man came for everyone, and what better way to be "in Christ" than in his clothes?

The possibilities to act in this costume are infinite. They can go from blessing people to having contact with the porn industry.

3. Raptor Jesus

A meme born somewhere in the web, Raptor Jesus is a constant presence at least in Anime and Comics conventions

4. Flying Spaghetti Monster

What proof you have that God is an old white male? What if it really is an airborne pasta divine presence? And what if it is his will for us to dress like Him at least once a year? It's better than go sit in a building to listen to the same tale week after week. Go dress like the true God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster

5. Devil
Just like Jesus, the possibilities to act up to the Devil costume are infinite. Add some attitude and proselytism and you might test some of that so overrated "Christian love"

Of course, make sure you know how to defend yourself in case things get ugly. Remember, you might be dealing with Christians, be careful.

6. Pope

The King of Catholics is an important figure everywhere and whatever he says will be repeated and followed without question by devote Catholics around the world. For one day during the year, you might as well like to imagine to have such power to command zealots all over the world to do your bidding.

7. Muslim terrorist

Also available in kids' size. Just the name is scary. You can carry a Koran to be more realistic. It's politically incorrect and negative reactions to this costume might be more dangerous than the usual. However, if one knows where to go there would be no problem and even be considered "patriotic" in some parts of the U.S. If this happens, remember that in some places wearing this costume would be motive for an execution.

And my favorite...

7. The PedoPriest

No one in their right mind would deny the huge number of catholic priests who also happen to be sex offenders, especially with young boys. The catholic church's indolence is also an undeniable fact. Of course, some might say "but not all of them are like that..." which is true, but off all the people in different social roles you might expect the least of a priest to rape a kid. They are not supposed to have sex, not supposed to have sex with children and not supposed to have sex with male children.

Bonus: The Dog Pope
Have a dog and want to take it for a walk during Halloween, but without using those silly costumes? Get the real thing, let them be scary also. What can be more scary than a Pope that literally barks nonsense?

So go ahead, dress up, and if someone comes to you arguing your costume is somewhat offensive, you just made your night a true pagan fest.

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Blasfema libremente

"Que esté permitido a cada uno pensar como quiera; pero que nunca le esté permitido perjudicar por su manera de pensar" Barón D'Holbach
"Let everyone be permitted to think as he pleases; but never let him be permitted to injure others for their manner of thinking" Barón D'Holbach